Meetings 101

I just finished round two of a set of regular meetings that I facilitate as a part of a four person team.  Though we had exactly the same agenda, they were two completely different experiences.  As any teacher will tell you, the people in the room make all the difference.

What I love about group work is that it is a totally organic experience.  I have a friend who says "100% scripted and 100% flexible" in her planning for any kind of training or meeting.  Of course, that means that we always come in with 200%!

One of the things that I have learned over the years is to always have Plan A, B, and C.....and often Plan D is what I end up using when standing in the front of 40 pairs of blankly staring eyes.  There are some basics though that I always use when planning.

The first is to have clearly defined outcomes.  Is this gathering for networking?  Am I teaching a specific skill?  Is there particular information that people need to leave with?  What decisions or discussions need to take place?

Next, I craft an agenda based on these outcomes.  I send that out as far ahead as possible to attendees, and I also post it on large chart paper in the front of the room for people to refer to throughout the meeting.  That helps them know where we have been, and where we are going next.

A critical component to successful groups that is often overlooked is the physical set-up of the room.  I like a lot of interaction in my meetings, so I often set the tables up in small groupings - it promotes a sense of community and sharing when attendees are able to look at each other around a table.  My second favorite arrangement is best for smaller groups and that is a "U" shape or circle shaped seating.  I only use classroom style seating if there is to be little or no interaction between participants - which happens rarely or ever!

I also try to give a "homey" feeling to the room to lift the energy and put people at ease - having coffee and water available, music playing before the meeting starts, and fresh flowers on the sign-in table make people feel welcome and valued.  So do name tags or table tents, extra note paper and pencils, and a bit of chocolate or mints on the tables.

Lastly, I use the first 15 minutes of the meeting to set the tone for the rest of the day.  After welcoming, I make sure that they know how to get their physical needs met (restrooms, refreshments, etc.), and that we set our ground rules for working together.  This gives time for people to settle in before we jump into the agenda, and it avoids repeats for any stragglers that arrive a few minutes late.

I try to follow the 10-2 rule as much as possible - research shows that adults can only take in about 10 minutes of talking before they need a 2 minute processing break.  This can be as simple as having them say a sentence or two to the person next to them, or taking out a piece of paper and jotting down their thoughts.  I know that if I don't give this to them, they are going to take a mental trip anyway, so I might as well keep it focused on the task at hand!

I always allow for a few minutes of "wrap-up" at the end of any meeting, and make sure to thank everyone for coming.  After the official end, I may follow up with anyone who seemed overwhelmed or confused, and I always debrief with my team.

Not every meeting goes smoothly, and we all have off days, but this is a formula that has served me well in many varied situations.  I have also used these tips in situations where I was not the facilitator by gently suggesting a break, asking at the beginning for outcomes,  or offering a summary statement at the end of a meeting.

Most of us spend some portion of our lives in meetings - from PTC to Church to Community Groups to Boardrooms.  These are tips that work universally to make the best use of our limited time.

What can you do differently at your next meeting?

Flower Talk

  We just got back from an incredibly busy - and fun - weekend cheering on my youngest as he battled it out on the soccer field during a fall tournament in Traverse City.  We returned hoarse from fall colds, water park excitement and lots of sideline yelling!  As a natural introvert, I was craving solitude desperately by Sunday night.

As much as I was looking forward to being home, my stomach clenched a little as we drove in the driveway.  With a first time house sitter, and I was nervous about the "energy" that would be left behind.  I am very particular about who is in my "den", and instinctually sense the change in my space when someone has visited.

I think we all do this on some level whether we notice it or not. Most of us can recall a time when we walked into a room and felt that something was "off", or felt a sinking feeling when entering a particular building or house.  It is an evolutionary throw-back that protects us from emotional and physical harm, though we can't often name it.

Imagine my delight when I came in to several freshly picked garden bouquets scattered throughout my kitchen!  My spirit was instantly lifted by the bright zinnias, black-eyes susans, sunflowers, and cosmos smiling at me from vases and glass milk bottles.

It reminded me of the great novel I am currently reading, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh.  It got me thinking about the meaning behind those cheerful bouquets, and what my own garden might be saying.

There is a great website, http://aboutflowers.com, that gives the Victorian meanings for certain flowers.  Here is what I found:

     Zinnia - Thoughts of friends
     Sunflower - Adoration
     Cosmos - Peaceful
     Black-Eyed Susan - Encouragement

What a great welcome home message!

Here are some others that are in my garden:
     Lavender - Mistrust
     Hydrangea - Perseverance
     Peony - Healing
     Aster - Contentment
     Gardenia - Joy

Rose's messages are by color; Red for Passionate love, Pink for Friendship, and White for Purity.  There are flowers for luck (Stephanotis), and flowers that send a warning (Rhododendron).  In Victorian times, each flower was carefully selected to tell a story to the recipient.  Women would often agonize for days over the hidden meaning in a bouquet from an admirer.

For me, I am going to take the flowers at face value - a welcoming treat from an adoring friend that added a special peacefulness to my home.  Thanks Andy!

The Big "S"

When I introduced my husband to my blog yesterday, he told me that he doesn't typically read blogs.....Of course, he will read mine though because he wants to know what is happening in our lives!  When I asked him why, he said that he finds them "self-indulgent".


At first, I found that a little offensive.  Then I started to think about what the term "self-indulgence" really means, and why it is viewed in such a negative light.  According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word "self-indulgence" means "[e]xcessive indulgence of one's own appetites and desires."  I would guess that the issue is with the "excessive" nature of the indulgence, but there is a lot of gray area in that definition as well.


As for the rest of it, I guess I fit.  I am unapologetically - for the first time in my life - going after my own desires.  I desire a more balanced home life, work that fulfills and inspires me, and reflective time to share my own learnings with others.  Can I really have an excessively balanced life?  Too much fulfillment or inspiration?  


I suppose that I could "hold back" on the sharing, and that is likely what he is most worried about.  Interestingly, I think that the sharing is the most important thing about learning.  In my life, there have been countless situations where I have had to make the decision about whether or not to share my personal story.  I have been fortunate to sit in many diverse circles over the years - circles of wise women and wide-eyed children, suited business professionals and weary parents, hardened social workers and beaten down teachers.  In each of these circles, I have chosen to speak my own truth and I have never been sorry.


I recently had an experience where a mom came up to me and told me something very personal that she has been struggling with.  She shared how hard it has been for her to talk about it because she was worried about the reaction that she would get.  I received the gift of her story because she knew that I had been there - and that I was not afraid to talk about it. I helped her just simply by being honest about my own experiences.


When we come from a place of authenticity and genuine purpose, our stories are never "excessive".  Our personal experiences join with others to form a collective knowledge that informs our families, our communities, and our world. 


How might your life be different if you took the time today to sit silently in your own space and really listen to what is in your heart?  What would it look like to share that with another?  How can you truly connect with another person in your personal or professional life?  What impact might that have on your life or work?

"Fall"-ing off the cliff

I am beginning a new chapter in my life, and it is only fitting that the change happen in the month of September.  As the calm waters in the big lake begin to churn with the fall winds, unearthing rounded stones polished by blowing sand, so too is my life.

Growing up, September was a time to say good-bye to sleeping in, the front porch in my pajamas, and the carefree sunshine on the pond where I fished almost daily.  Replacing worn shorts and tanks were stiff corduroy jeans that "zwiffed" as I walked, the unfamiliar weight of a vinyl smelling backpack on my shoulders, and a slightly soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.  Over the years, elementary school morphed to junior high with it's awkward glory, then the growing independence of high school and college.

In September, I left my parents home, mourned the loss of my beloved grandmother,watched the twin towers fall in horror and disbelief, and had my heart wrenched from my body as we returned a five day old baby to his birthfamily.  I have started new jobs, new schools, and welcomed hundreds of new students to Kindergarten.  It has been a month of unimaginable loss and indescribable joy; unspeakable fear and immeasurable hope; shared terror and unspeakable personal pain.  I look to September with both excitement and trepidation, knowing that something significant is always on the horizon that will rough me up and bit before spitting me out more polished and refined.

I am excited to share this journey with you, because I know that there will be celebrations and frustrations along the way.  This blog is my way of documenting the momentum of September.  There will be times when I need my friends to throw me a life ring, times to bask in the sunshine.....and probably times when I will need a shovel as well!  I promise they won't all be so wordy - you can also expect to see practical tips for your home and garden, methods for group engagement and development, parenting reflections and ideas, and meeting survival 101 for both facilitators and attendees.

I'd love to hear what is on your mind, as well as your feedback - so welcome to my new blog!